Wednesday, June 17, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Blue Shirt Man Interferes While First Of Swoops' Babies Learns To Fly!

It has been reported that the first of Swoops' babies ("Little Swoops") tested his wings for the first time this afternoon. About one hour ago, Little Swoops left the protection of the nesting tree and fluttered to the sidewalk. Swipes was there waiting. Swipes immediately commenced lessons on how to flap and fly. Little Swoops tried and tried. Two bald men walked by and Swoops made a direct attack on each. People screamed "get away." They ran. Little Swoops continued his struggle to learn. Swipes encouraged him. The crowd waited anxious and proud. Then a man in a blue shirt ("Blue Shirt Man") unwarrantedly intervened in the lesson. Unsure as to why, Blue Shirt Man drove Little Swoops into the street. The crowd erupted horrified. Cars were passing by. Blue Shirt Man then chased Little Swoops across the street. Why Blue Shirt Man?!?!? What are you doing?!?!? Blue Shirt Man then picked up Little Swoops and carried him back to the safety of the nesting tree and placed him in the nest. The tension of the crowd subsided. Swoops and Swipes made repeated hits on Blue Shirt Man. What are you doing Blue Shirt Man?!?!?! All are relieved the situation ended well.

16 comments:

  1. BOOOOOOOOOOOO Blue Shirt Man!!!!!! Big stupid, stupid!!!

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  2. I wonder if Blue Shirt Man thought the chick had fallen out of the nest and needed assistance? The saga of Swoops continues, new characters, more drama unfolds.

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  3. What a jerk. Shouldn't be handling the babies.

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  4. What the heck Blue Shirt Man!!! leave'em alone, Blue Shirt man, leave'em alone!

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  5. If the intent was to catch or harass, it's illegal. Call animal control if you see it happening, or inform the person it's against the law under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. If he was genuinely trying to get the fledgling to a safer spot, then his intent was good but may have been misguided. Only move a fledgling back to a safer spot if it's in clear danger. Or take it to a wildlife hospital if it's been injured. Otherwise, leave it alone.

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  6. That sucks, my biggest fear is that Swoops celebrity will lead to some idiot doing something stupid. Sounds like that almost happened with blue shirt man yesterday. Glad the crowd was on hand to harrass him.

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  7. YEA BLUE SHIRT MAN! Human beings are MORE IMPORTANT than some goddamned blackbird. Someone needs to bring a badmitten racket and hit the birdie into next week. Now boo hoo and jump up and down and prove you're idiots for valuing an effing bird over human beings.

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  8. Awww, is Dead Bird a little jealous of the widdle birdies limelight??? Did DB not get enough love and adoration growing up as say...ohh, I don't know...SWOOPS! That "goddamned blackbird" has already proven more valuable than you and it only took 4 sentences to prove it!

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  9. I have officially become a crazy bird lady.

    This a.m., one of the fledglings took a tentative dive off one of the canopies above City National on to the sidewalk below. The fledgling was not in any danger where s/he landed. About 15 seconds later, some jackass came by, picked the baby up and started playing with it. It looked like he was about to shove the baby into his briefcase. Amazingly, Swoops did not attack, but I did. I was walking on the other side of Front and saw the jackass in action, so I ran across the street, yelling at the jackass and telling him to put the baby down. I really felt like whacking him on the back of the head. He eventually let the baby go.

    Just when my faith in human nature was starting to be restored because no one had disturbed the nest, I'm starting to fear that some dumbass is going to do something stupid that will get one of the fledglings injured or killed.

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  10. If you people are SO frigging worried about this goddamned bird (and I include Animal Control in this) then why let the bird continue to feel threatened? If not moving the bird to a safer location - how about barricading off the sidewalk? Putting up yellow caution tape and keeping the area clear of people? I'LL TELL YOU WHY - because you're really not interested at all about this effing bird - you're getting juvenile entertainment from watching people be attacked. If you actually were worried about this bird, I'd just think you were soft-hearted fools - but no, you're worse than that - you're vicious voyeurs vicariously being able to attack your fellow man. You get off on the entertainment. You're all sick and need therapy.

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  11. It is technically against the law to remove eggs and/nest from any area according to the International Migratory Birds act--if you call up a wildlife rescue org to help you they will tell you the same thing.

    Sounds like you just need to rub one out and relax.

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  12. So if you can't remove the nest - then protect people by barricading off the sidewalk near the nest. If you're SO worried about protecting the bird - WHY AREN'T YOU? Again, I'll tell you why: Becuase you AREN'T worried about the bird. More than several posts on this board mention how much fun it is to watch people be attacked. One even said it was hilarious to watch a small woman being attacked. Is this what it takes these days to entertain people? Watching wildlife in "jeopardy" (according to some of you) but keeping it in jeopardy because you want to get your jollies watching people get attacked? I think the person that needs to rub one out is YOU.

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  13. And here's the sad little man that is probably going to do something tragic.

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  14. And here's the juvenile getting his jollies over other's misfortune (and at the expense of a vicious little birdie). BIG MAN YOU MUST BE.

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  15. Ignoring all the grumpy pants and saying hello to the true blue (rather black) bird fans (hello Masterlock!) - what's wrong with Blue Shirt Man? There is a can of NYC Russian AND Italian whip-ass with his name on it - I can send it over if he tampers in Swoopsville again.

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  16. Why do I have the sneaking suspicion Dead Bird is a baldie who got dive bombed??? Was laughed at by the others and couldn't take the public ridicule....all those grade school memories flooding back....

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