Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

DJ At KFJC 89.7 FM Pays Tribute To Swoops

KFJC 89.7 FM in Los Altos Hills in the South Bay played tribute to Swoops on Saturday morning during its 7 a.m to 8 a.m morning show. The Swoops tribute took place from 7:20 a.m. to 7:40 a.m. The tribute included "Three Fell Swoops" and "Swoop Factor."

The show can be downloaded from KFJC 89.7 website in the Broadcast Archives section or on iTunes in 'Eclectic' section.

Links to playlist and download of morning show:

Thanks for the tribute KFJC 89.7 FM in Los Altos!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

AB Chronicle Staff Is Sad. Michael Jackson Dies.

Michael Jackson has died. Farrah has passed. Swoops has yet to return. It is a sad, sad day.

The moon walk ... the glitter glove ... the red leather jacket. We will never forget.

RIP Michael.

RIP Farrah.

Exotic Locales Of Swoops-Readership

Some of the more interesting locations which found Swoops on the internet:

* Canadian hits from Whitehorse, Yellowknife and Saskatoon.
* Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and even Iran registered hits.
* The African (see above) nations of Nigeria, Ghana, Uganda and Eritrea. Eritria?
* We also got 2 hits from Nepal, 1 from Cambodia, and 23 each from Malaysia and the Philippines. True bird lovers.

Swoops International Coverage

AB Chronicle's analytics team put together the following report on Swoops' wide ranging international influence. Swoops is known in over 99 countries - spanning all 7 continents. It is official. Swoops is famous.

Each of the 50 states and DC were heavy on readership. All of Europe (including Latvia, Estonia and Romania) followed Swoops. Most impressive was Hungary which logged more hits than Spain, Italy and Greece combined. Germany was second in hits to the USA and the UK was right behind. Vietnam, Egpyt and Morocco also logged in to enjoy the tales of Swoops.

Farewells To Swoops Flooding In From Around The Globe ... "We Miss You" "Nous Vous Manquons" "Мы пропускаем вас" "Wir Verfehlen Sie"


"Farewell Feathered Friends!
We will remember you always!"

"Nós faltamo-lo."

"... the Swoops Phenomenon really did bring some laughs and fun to an area where people usually keep their head down and go about their day. It gave random people in the financial district the opportunity to meet one another, laugh and converse. Maybe even a couple of human relationships blossomed out of the shared joy of watching Swoops divebomb unsuspecting pedestrians, ya never know. I'm glad the whole Swoops saga ended well."

"I have the picture of Little Swoops on Lunch Man's shoe on my desktop at work, everytime I see it I smile."

"Le faltamos, Swoops."

"Bye-bye Swoops family! Be safe! We'll miss ya'll."

"And the good thing is... Swoops didn't let all this fame get to his head... I hope next year he decides to have some more babies in that area. Until then... This is goodbye."

"The Blackbird family brought laughs and joy to an area that is known for neither laughs nor joy."

"As suddenly as the terror started, it is gone. I hope the whole Swoops family is safe and sound and maybe Swoops and Swipes are training the babies on head bombing somewhere right now!"

"One thing to keep in mind is that birds often return to prior nesting grounds on an annual basis. So in June 2010, keep your head up on Front Street."

"I miss Swoops too...I'm going to go put birdseed on my head and see if a NYC blackbird will attack just won't be the same. =["

"I miss Swoops."

"I miss Swoops too."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Are Swoops And Family Actually Off Hiking The Appalacian Trail?

The answer to whether Swoops and his family did indeed disappear from Front Street and California may have been answered this afternoon. Reports have been coming in consistently that Swoops and his family may actually be off hiking the Appalachian Trial. True? Quite a bit of alleged action on that trail as of late. Pass on the left. Slow traffic to the right.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Swoops, Swoops, Where Art Thou?

AB Chronicle staff visited SGZ this lunch hour. SGZ was quiet. No Swoops, no Swipes, no Little Swoops or Swoopini. Many people passed by with sandwiches in hand and their attention fixed upwards questioning to one another "have you seen the bird?" "where is Swoops?" "where are the babies?". We have yet to confirm the current whereabouts of Swoops and his family. There is a rumor the family moved further down Front Street toward Market Street. AB Chronicle staff will investigate and confirm.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day Swoops!

Enjoy your day. You have done well!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Swoops Commemorative Memorabilia Design Contest

In honor of Swoops and his family, AB Chronicles is sponsoring a commemorative memorabilia design contest. Please submit design entries to by Monday, June 29 at 5:30 p.m. All designs will be considered for creativity, admiration of Swoops and his family, humor and goodwill toward birds. We strongly encourage all to apply. The winning design will be selected by AB Chronicle Staff, Jean Jacket Man, Deputy District Attorney and selected members of the Swoops viewing community. Various types of memorabilia (t-shirts, mugs, sigg water bottles, hoodies, throw pillows, etc...) will then be available for sale online. Profits from proceeds will be donated to San Francisco Audubon Society.

Image Specifications:
  • Must be .PSD, .TIFF or .PNG image
  • 100-300 dpi
  • 10" x 10"
  • max 4MB
This is a great way to commemorate Swoops, Swipes, Little Swoops, Swoopini and the cast of characters we have come to know. We look forward to your submissions.

Little Swoops Hops Across California Street. Man In Jean Jacket Jumps In Front Of Moving Traffic To Save Little Swoops. Crowd Panics.

Around 3:00 pm this afternoon, as the crowd looked on, Little Swoops took off from the safety of the motorcycle parking area and headed down Front Street toward the California Street intersection. The crowd mummered "no, no"..."oh no." Yes. Little Swoops hopped head on into the oncoming California Street traffic. The light was green. The traffic was coming. The crowd froze. We held our breath. A man in a jean jacket ("Jean Jacket Man") reacted without pause. Jean Jacket Man ran toward Little Swoops. He jumped in front of an oncoming SUV and stopped it. The crowd exhaled. Jean Jacket Man stood between the SUV and Little Swoops and put his hands up to stop traffic. Jean Jacket Man announced to all four directions of traffic ... "there is a baby bird out here." The SUV driver couldn't see Little Swoops (being only 3 inches high) and began to honk. Jean Jacket Man held his ground. The SUV started to move. Jean Jacket Man again put up his hands held the SUV back. Little Swoops continued to hop erratically through the intersection. Jean Jacket Man continued to hold the traffic back and encouraged Little Swoops to keep moving. The car drivers then seemed to realize Little Swoops was in the middle of the road. The cars did not move. They let the green light turn red. Little Swoops continued to cross the road. Jean Jacket Man was by him his side every step and pointed Little Swoops in the direction of the curb. Little Swoops made it to the other side of California Street to safety. Phew! The crowd sighed and verbally expressed to each other how horribly wrong that could have gone. Swoops flew over the intersection toward Little Swoops. Swipes was not in sight. Little Swoops started to walk down sidewalk. Jean Jacket Man followed after him. A seagull circled and then landed in the 101 California Street fountain (about 60 feet from Little Swoops). Swoops immediately landed in the fountain. The seagull flew away. Swoops took back to flight. Little Swoops hopped over to a blue metal cafe table where a man was having his lunch ("Lunch Man"). Swoops found Little Swoops, landed next to him and chirped and chirped at him. Little Swoops stared at Swoops. Swoops flew up and perched in a tree above. Little Swoops sat under the cafe table for a moment. He looked calm. Little Swoops then hopped up on Lunch Man's shoe. It was adorable. There he sat. Swoops sat above looking down. Little Swoops went on and off Lunch Man's shoe three times. Lunch Man glanced down but did not appear interested in Little Swoops or Jean Jacket Man who hovered over Lunch Man's back. Little Swoops tried to walk up the pedestal of the metal table and slipped off. He hopped to the next metal table and again up the pedestal and again slipped off. The crowd encouraged him to keep trying. Jean Jacket Man and Swoops stayed close behind. Little Swoops stopped a few feet away at a planter full of pink petunias. It was a nice spot. Jean Jacket Man took a rest on the cement stadium seats directly across from the planter. Little Swoops hopped up into the planter and landed right in the middle of the petunias. Precious! Jean Jacket Man was looking on and beaming with joy. Swoops circled and landed in the tree above the petunias. Little Swoops opened his mouth. Swoops flew off and returned moments later with a cracker. Swoops flew down to the petunias and fed the cracker to Little Swoops. They both looked happy. Swoops sat with Little Swoops for a bit in the petunias. Side by side. Father and son. Swoops then flew back up to the tree above the petunias and stood guard. Swoops looked relieved. Little Swoops slipped down further into the petunias. A man walked by the planter. Whoops! Swoops hit him twice. The man brushed his head. We told him Little Swoops was in the planter. The man looked down and continued walking. Swoops returned to the tree. Little Swoops closed his eyes and rested. Swoops stood guard. Swipes could not be found. Reports have been made that Swipes did indeed find Little Swoops later in the day. Further reports are that Little Swoops remains in the petunias and Swipes and Swoops are now residing in the tree above. What a day for everyone. Thank you Jean Jacket Man. Thank you!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Swoops Feeds His Young. Swipes Give Motherly Advice.

Swoops collects food and provides for Little Swoops.

Swipes gives her young motherly advice.

DPT Officer Contemplates Citation, Two Others Attacked. Helmets Offer No Protection.

DPT officer stared at Swoops' nesting tree today debating if there was a citable offense. We know the city is bankrupt, but, come on! And they wonder why Swoops hits them when they come by. Move along! Move along!

Photo of two DPT officers that rode through SGZ looking for Swoops this afternoon. Swoops hit them both seconds after this photo was taken.

Little Swoops Likes Motorcycles; Swoopini Not Seen Since Early This Morning

Little Swoops spent a better part of the early afternoon next to a motorcycle tire and a man in black boots. He would hop up the curb and back down again every couple minutes. The crowd was excited to see him move about. He has such fantastic hair. It is much like a reverse mohawk.

Swoopini has not been seen since early this morning. Swoopini was the stronger flyer of the two as of yesterday afternoon. Maybe she has flown away? We hope Swoopini is ok.

Swoops Makes Attack On Five Seagulls And Two Crows

Swoops attacked five seagulls and two crows today between the hours of 12:30 pm and 2:30 pm. He was amazing. He chased one gull up Sacramento Street, another down Front Street, two others to 101 California and one he made a direct hit on directly above the now vacant nesting tree. The crows circled the little ones' nesting shrubbery. The crows never had a chance. Before they saw Swoops, Swoops made two perfectly precise hits on one crow and then the other. The crows immediately fled. Swoops is working incredibly hard to keep Little Swoops and Swoopini safe. He looks exhausted. He is vigilant. Swipes comes and goes. The pigeons mull around. They present no danger at all. They actually seem oblivious to anything but the potential that a sandwich crumb might fall their way.

Little Swoops: From The Nest To The Workforce

Hard economic times have reached the Swoops family. With all the noisy PG&E construction going on at Front Street and California, people just aren't coming by as much and dropping crumbs. Little Swoops spent most of his morning scanning the front of "Jobs & Careers." He appeared quite interested in a management position with a local bakery. He is no fool. He knows where his bread is buttered!

Man Hit Three Times For Putting Foot On Edge Of Planter

It was reported this morning that a man rested his foot up on top of the planter where Little Swoops and Swoopini are now living. Swoops immediately reacted and made three direct hits in a row on the man's head. The crowd yelled "the babies are in the planter." The man was disinterested and walked away. Swoops followed him around the corner and hit him again. Lesson learned.

Obviously, More Of A Cat Person

AB Chronicle Staff witnessed a remarkable face off between Swoops and this peculiar lady who did not take well to our feathered friend's attentions. She apparently thought she could stare down Swoops from the edge of Swoops Ground Zero.

It did not end well for her.
(the crowd loved it).

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Swoopini "Chirp...Chirp...Chirp..."


Warnings Of Various Sorts Now At Swoops Ground Zero

Warnings are now posted at SGZ. AB Chronicle staff is uncertain as to the purpose of the Swoops look-a-like cut-out affixed to the tree directly next to Swoops' nesting tree (see below). Is this a tribute to Swoops, part of the warning or a clue to something we have yet to discover?

Photo Journal: The Babies Have Left The Nest

Swoops' nest has been abandoned. The babies are now taking up residence in the shrubbery across from City National Bank and exploring the area. For most of today, Little Swoops sat on
the sidewalk directly in front of the shrubbery planter. He looked frightened (PG&E is still overtaking the area with construction). After a while, Little Swoops took a walk down the street. A pigeon came to visit and Swipes followed to look over him. Swoops then came and fed him. Little Swoops tried and tried and could not get off the ground. Onlookers were concerned. Little Swoops took a running start and up he went a few inches off the ground. People encouraged him on. He tried once more and then took a break. He found a nice red doorway in which to rest. Swoops looked over him from atop some heavy machinery and Swipes looked on from a "No Parking" sign. Please no one open that door!!! Little Swoops' sibling ("Swoopini") spent most of the day in a lovely purple shrub. Swoopini chripped and chripped. She took to flight a couple times with great success always retuning to the purple shrub. Swoops and Swipes flew over the area keeping watch of the little ones. All seems to be
going well.

Woman Makes Trip From Orange County To Visit With Swoops

A woman drove from Orange County this week solely to visit Swoops. She spent two afternoons at SGZ with the crowds and says she was very happy she made the trip.

Swoops v. California Department Of Transportation

No contest. Helmets or no helmets. Swoops will win.

New Yorker States "Birds In Manhattan Are Not As Cool"

A native New Yorker reported today that "none of the birds in Manhattan do anything this cool." AB Chronicle staff awaits comment from birds residing in Manhattan.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Blue Shirt Man Interferes While First Of Swoops' Babies Learns To Fly!

It has been reported that the first of Swoops' babies ("Little Swoops") tested his wings for the first time this afternoon. About one hour ago, Little Swoops left the protection of the nesting tree and fluttered to the sidewalk. Swipes was there waiting. Swipes immediately commenced lessons on how to flap and fly. Little Swoops tried and tried. Two bald men walked by and Swoops made a direct attack on each. People screamed "get away." They ran. Little Swoops continued his struggle to learn. Swipes encouraged him. The crowd waited anxious and proud. Then a man in a blue shirt ("Blue Shirt Man") unwarrantedly intervened in the lesson. Unsure as to why, Blue Shirt Man drove Little Swoops into the street. The crowd erupted horrified. Cars were passing by. Blue Shirt Man then chased Little Swoops across the street. Why Blue Shirt Man?!?!? What are you doing?!?!? Blue Shirt Man then picked up Little Swoops and carried him back to the safety of the nesting tree and placed him in the nest. The tension of the crowd subsided. Swoops and Swipes made repeated hits on Blue Shirt Man. What are you doing Blue Shirt Man?!?!?! All are relieved the situation ended well.

Mysterious Pile Of Bird Seed Appears On Swoops' Curb

A pile of bird seed appeared on the curb this morning at SGZ. It is not yet determined who left the pile or if Swoops has sampled the seed. We do know however that the pigeons are thrilled by its miraculous appearance. Suspicion has been raised that the benefactor is indeed the "woman that tosses 150 pounds of bird seed a day." (see link)

AB Chronicle staff is attempting to make contact with bird experts to learn if such seed is beneficial to Swoops and his little ones. Report to follow.

Construction Workers Disturb Onlookers

Swoops onlookers were driven back to their offices by a bunch of rogue construction workers today. Chronicle staff requested earplugs from Upper Management. Swoops was unperturbed.

No data yet on rumored Financial District productivity increase.

Before And After, Part 1

Note very poor Swoops Avoidance Technique (see yesterday's post)

Before And After, Part 2

Follow Attack Bird Chronicles, Swoops And Report Global Bird Attacks On Twitter

Follow Swoops, Attack Bird Chronicle staff reports and use the following twitter account to report on real time bird attacks from around the globe (pigeons in Paris, swans in Connecticut, magpies in Australia ...). AB Chronicle staff has been receiving and learning of many fantastical bird stories from around the world. This is just too good for not all to share ... tweet ... tweet ... tweet ...
or you can email us your stories, comments, photos at

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Swipes Is Very Comfortable In The Spotlight!

Swoops newest companion, Swipes, seems very comfortable in the spotlight. It has been reported that Swipes has been attacking bystanders all morning. It is unclear if Swoops signaled for Swipes to come to his ledge to help manage the overwhelming media attention or if Swipes came of her own volition. Nonetheless, Swipes' attack numbers are strong. AB Chronicle staff is yet to determine if Swoops is indicating to Swipes which bystanders to hit or if Swipes is selecting targets on her own.

Swoops Avoidance Technique

The pictured woman is displaying near flawless Swoops Avoidance Technique to the consternation of the Swooperatzi in the background:

1. Hug the wall.
2. Keep your head down.
3. Move along.

Follow the rules and nobody gets hit.

Monday, June 15, 2009