Attack Bird Chronicles

They're Back ... 2010 Attacks Have Begun.

2010-06-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

It is confirmed. Brewer's blackbird attacks have begun to hit the City by the Bay. Today it was reported that a senior corporate attorney for a national home cleaning supply company was hit walking home from the J-Church on Market Street. It was a described as a "direct hit". The victim stated that she "walked close to a tree in order to avoid a bum" coming her way. The hit was quick. Top of her head. Thinking the bum threw something at her head, the victim turned to verbally "let the bum have it." It was not the bum. It was a blackbird. They are back.

Keep a safe distance from trees. Bald men wear a hat. Jean Jacket man protect the little ones. Feels good to be back.

Cable Cars Come To A Halt. Tadich Grill Blamed!

2009-08-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

Tadich Grill, one of the oldest restaurants in all of San Francisco, is blamed for filling the Financial District with smoke and bringing our very own cable cars to a halt this afternoon. Buses will be available to take stranded cable car riders to there desitinations. Please, no hanging off the side!

http://sfappeal.com/news/2009/08/big-fire-in-fidi.php

Planes Arrive On The Scene!

2009-08-24T11:21:00.000-07:00

Planes have just arrived on scene. Water is being sprayed off the top of the building. Flames come and go. Smoke clears and then billows. Swoops' old haunt is back in the prime time.

Fire At Front Street And California

2009-08-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

A fire broke out moments ago in immediate proximity to the corner of Front and California Street. Firemen are ascending the rooftop by ladder and their hoses are in full force. Policemen are standing on the corner attempting to secure the area and informing passersby. News crews are arriving in white vans. The smoke is raging black again. Rumors are it started from a kitchen fire.

San Francisco Magazine August, 2009 Edition Features Swoops

2009-08-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

This month's "2009 Food Issue" of San Francisco Magazine paid tribute to the now 2009 San Francisco icon, Swoops. Swoops can be seen in full "direct hit" mode on pages 24 and 25 of the August edition of the magazine. Swoops is looking strong. One of his better shots. It is good to see him again!

British Solicitor Attacked ... Swoops Believes Such Attacks Are Unecessary

2009-07-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

'I thought somebody had thrown something at me because I felt a sharp pain at the back of my head but I couldn't see anyone ..."

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/07/19/article-0-05C3A6D8000005DC-309_233x515.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200718/Do-birds-need-ASBO-Second-jogger-left-bloodied-bruised-buzzard-attack.html&usg=__OG59rVeOSeuF9ptUBxejeBriz1w=&h=515&w=233&sz=34&hl=en&start=6&tbnid=aRYcpxSVuA_YKM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=59&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbird%2Battack%2Bblood%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG

Reference To Swoops Deleted From Wikipedia.

2009-07-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

It was noticed days ago, that Wikipedia's reference to Swoops had been deleted. The only reference to Swoops found was to a Pringle looking potato-chip shaped chocolate candy manufactured by The Hershey Company. Who deleted Swoops' story from Wikipedia is not known at this time. Hershey? We hope not. AB Chronicle Staff must ask: Anyone actually ever eat a Hershey Swoop?

The Wikipedia site has now been restored.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swoops

Incoming!

2009-07-05T10:06:00.000-07:00

From the archives:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/scavenger/detail?entry_id=41847

CBS 5 Makes It Official: Swoops Has Left The Building

2009-07-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

http://cbs5.com/pets/sf.bird.attacks.2.1066339.html

We miss you Swoops and family!

A Video Retrospective

2009-06-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

music by sonnetone

DJ At KFJC 89.7 FM Pays Tribute To Swoops

2009-06-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

KFJC 89.7 FM in Los Altos Hills in the South Bay played tribute to Swoops on Saturday morning during its 7 a.m to 8 a.m morning show. The Swoops tribute took place from 7:20 a.m. to 7:40 a.m. The tribute included "Three Fell Swoops" and "Swoop Factor."

The show can be downloaded from KFJC 89.7 website in the Broadcast Archives section or on iTunes in 'Eclectic' section.

Links to playlist and download of morning show:

http://www.kfjc.org/music/playlist.php?i=33032
http://www.kfjc.org/broadcast_archives/

Thanks for the tribute KFJC 89.7 FM in Los Altos!

AB Chronicle Staff Is Sad. Michael Jackson Dies.

2009-06-25T16:27:00.001-07:00

Michael Jackson has died. Farrah has passed. Swoops has yet to return. It is a sad, sad day.

The moon walk ... the glitter glove ... the red leather jacket. We will never forget.

RIP Michael.
1958-2009

RIP Farrah.
1947-2009

Exotic Locales Of Swoops-Readership

2009-06-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

Some of the more interesting locations which found Swoops on the internet:

* Canadian hits from Whitehorse, Yellowknife and Saskatoon.
* Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and even Iran registered hits.
* The African (see above) nations of Nigeria, Ghana, Uganda and Eritrea. Eritria?
* We also got 2 hits from Nepal, 1 from Cambodia, and 23 each from Malaysia and the Philippines. True bird lovers.

Swoops International Coverage

2009-06-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

AB Chronicle's analytics team put together the following report on Swoops' wide ranging international influence. Swoops is known in over 99 countries - spanning all 7 continents. It is official. Swoops is famous.

Each of the 50 states and DC were heavy on readership. All of Europe (including Latvia, Estonia and Romania) followed Swoops. Most impressive was Hungary which logged more hits than Spain, Italy and Greece combined. Germany was second in hits to the USA and the UK was right behind. Vietnam, Egpyt and Morocco also logged in to enjoy the tales of Swoops.

Farewells To Swoops Flooding In From Around The Globe ... "We Miss You" "Nous Vous Manquons" "Мы пропускаем вас" "Wir Verfehlen Sie"

2009-06-25T00:03:00.000-07:00

"私達は逃す。"

"Farewell Feathered Friends!
We will remember you always!"

"Nós faltamo-lo."

"... the Swoops Phenomenon really did bring some laughs and fun to an area where people usually keep their head down and go about their day. It gave random people in the financial district the opportunity to meet one another, laugh and converse. Maybe even a couple of human relationships blossomed out of the shared joy of watching Swoops divebomb unsuspecting pedestrians, ya never know. I'm glad the whole Swoops saga ended well."

"I have the picture of Little Swoops on Lunch Man's shoe on my desktop at work, everytime I see it I smile."

"Le faltamos, Swoops."

"Bye-bye Swoops family! Be safe! We'll miss ya'll."

"And the good thing is... Swoops didn't let all this fame get to his head... I hope next year he decides to have some more babies in that area. Until then... This is goodbye."

"The Blackbird family brought laughs and joy to an area that is known for neither laughs nor joy."

"As suddenly as the terror started, it is gone. I hope the whole Swoops family is safe and sound and maybe Swoops and Swipes are training the babies on head bombing somewhere right now!"

"One thing to keep in mind is that birds often return to prior nesting grounds on an annual basis. So in June 2010, keep your head up on Front Street."

"I miss Swoops too...I'm going to go put birdseed on my head and see if a NYC blackbird will attack me...it just won't be the same. =["

"I miss Swoops."

"I miss Swoops too."

Are Swoops And Family Actually Off Hiking The Appalacian Trail?

2009-06-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

The answer to whether Swoops and his family did indeed disappear from Front Street and California may have been answered this afternoon. Reports have been coming in consistently that Swoops and his family may actually be off hiking the Appalachian Trial. True? Quite a bit of alleged action on that trail as of late. Pass on the left. Slow traffic to the right.

One More Newscast On Swoops To Take Us Back For A Moment!

2009-06-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/san_francisco&id=6862777

Swoops, Swoops, Where Art Thou?

2009-06-22T14:58:00.001-07:00

AB Chronicle staff visited SGZ this lunch hour. SGZ was quiet. No Swoops, no Swipes, no Little Swoops or Swoopini. Many people passed by with sandwiches in hand and their attention fixed upwards questioning to one another "have you seen the bird?" "where is Swoops?" "where are the babies?". We have yet to confirm the current whereabouts of Swoops and his family. There is a rumor the family moved further down Front Street toward Market Street. AB Chronicle staff will investigate and confirm.

Happy Father's Day Swoops!

2009-06-21T21:31:00.001-07:00

Enjoy your day. You have done well!

Swoops Commemorative Memorabilia Design Contest

2009-06-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

In honor of Swoops and his family, AB Chronicles is sponsoring a commemorative memorabilia design contest. Please submit design entries to frontstreetattackbird@gmail.com by Monday, June 29 at 5:30 p.m. All designs will be considered for creativity, admiration of Swoops and his family, humor and goodwill toward birds. We strongly encourage all to apply. The winning design will be selected by AB Chronicle Staff, Jean Jacket Man, Deputy District Attorney and selected members of the Swoops viewing community. Various types of memorabilia (t-shirts, mugs, sigg water bottles, hoodies, throw pillows, etc...) will then be available for sale online. Profits from proceeds will be donated to San Francisco Audubon Society.

Image Specifications:

Must be .PSD, .TIFF or .PNG image
100-300 dpi
10" x 10"
max 4MB

This is a great way to commemorate Swoops, Swipes, Little Swoops, Swoopini and the cast of characters we have come to know. We look forward to your submissions.

Little Swoops Hops Across California Street. Man In Jean Jacket Jumps In Front Of Moving Traffic To Save Little Swoops. Crowd Panics.

2009-06-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

Around 3:00 pm this afternoon, as the crowd looked on, Little Swoops took off from the safety of the motorcycle parking area and headed down Front Street toward the California Street intersection. The crowd mummered "no, no"..."oh no." Yes. Little Swoops hopped head on into the oncoming California Street traffic. The light was green. The traffic was coming. The crowd froze. We held our breath. A man in a jean jacket ("Jean Jacket Man") reacted without pause. Jean Jacket Man ran toward Little Swoops. He jumped in front of an oncoming SUV and stopped it. The crowd exhaled. Jean Jacket Man stood between the SUV and Little Swoops and put his hands up to stop traffic. Jean Jacket Man announced to all four directions of traffic ... "there is a baby bird out here." The SUV driver couldn't see Little Swoops (being only 3 inches high) and began to honk. Jean Jacket Man held his ground. The SUV started to move. Jean Jacket Man again put up his hands held the SUV back. Little Swoops continued to hop erratically through the intersection. Jean Jacket Man continued to hold the traffic back and encouraged Little Swoops to keep moving. The car drivers then seemed to realize Little Swoops was in the middle of the road. The cars did not move. They let the green light turn red. Little Swoops continued to cross the road. Jean Jacket Man was by him his side every step and pointed Little Swoops in the direction of the curb. Little Swoops made it to the other side of California Street to safety. Phew! The crowd sighed and verbally expressed to each other how horribly wrong that could have gone. Swoops flew over the intersection toward Little Swoops. Swipes was not in sight. Little Swoops started to walk down sidewalk. Jean Jacket Man followed after him. A seagull circled and then landed in the 101 California Street fountain (about 60 feet from Little Swoops). Swoops immediately landed in the fountain. The seagull flew away. Swoops took back to flight. Little Swoops hopped over to a blue metal cafe table where a man was having his lunch ("Lunch Man"). Swoops found Little Swoops, landed next to him and chirped and chirped at him. Little Swoops stared at Swoops. Swoops flew up and perched in a tree above. Little Swoops sat under the cafe table for a moment. He looked calm. Little Swoops then hopped up on Lunch Man's shoe. It was adorable. There he sat. Swoops sat above looking down. Little Swoops went on and off Lunch Man's shoe three times. Lunch Man glanced down but did not appear interested in Little Swoops or Jean Jacket Man who hovered over Lunch Man's back. Little Swoops tried to walk up the pedestal of the metal table and slipped off. He hopped to the next metal table and again up the pedestal and again slipped off. The crowd encouraged him to keep trying. Jean Jacket Man and Swoops stayed close behind. Little Swoops stopped a few feet away at a planter full of pink petunias. It was a nice spot. Jean Jacket Man took a rest on the cement stadium seats directly across from the planter. Little Swoops hopped up into the planter and landed right in the middle of the petunias. Precious! Jean Jacket Man was looking on and beaming with joy. Swoops circled and landed in the tree above the petunias. Little Swoops opened his mouth. Swoops flew off and returned moments later with a cracker. Swoops flew down to the petunias and fed the cracker to Little Swoops. They both looked happy. Swoops sat with Little Swoops for a bit in the petunias. Side by side. Father and son. Swoops then flew back up to the tree above the petunias and stood guard. Swoops looked relieved. Little Swoops slipped down further into the petunias. A man walked by the planter. Whoops! Swoops hit him twice. The man brushed his head. We told him Little Swoops was in the planter. The man looked down and continued walking. Swoops returned to the tree. Little Swoops closed his eyes and rested. Swoops stood guard. Swipes could not be found. Reports have been made that Swipes did indeed find Little Swoops later in the day. Further reports are that Little Swoops remains in the petunias and Swipes and Swoops are now residing in the tree above. What a day for everyone. Thank you Jean Jacket Man. Thank you!

Swoops Feeds His Young. Swipes Give Motherly Advice.

2009-06-19T18:08:00.001-07:00

Swoops collects food and provides for Little Swoops.

Swipes gives her young motherly advice.

DPT Officer Contemplates Citation, Two Others Attacked. Helmets Offer No Protection.

2009-06-19T17:35:00.001-07:00

DPT officer stared at Swoops' nesting tree today debating if there was a citable offense. We know the city is bankrupt, but, come on! And they wonder why Swoops hits them when they come by. Move along! Move along!

Photo of two DPT officers that rode through SGZ looking for Swoops this afternoon. Swoops hit them both seconds after this photo was taken.

Little Swoops Likes Motorcycles; Swoopini Not Seen Since Early This Morning

2009-06-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Little Swoops spent a better part of the early afternoon next to a motorcycle tire and a man in black boots. He would hop up the curb and back down again every couple minutes. The crowd was excited to see him move about. He has such fantastic hair. It is much like a reverse mohawk.

Swoopini has not been seen since early this morning. Swoopini was the stronger flyer of the two as of yesterday afternoon. Maybe she has flown away? We hope Swoopini is ok.

Swoops Makes Attack On Five Seagulls And Two Crows

2009-06-19T16:45:00.000-07:00

Swoops attacked five seagulls and two crows today between the hours of 12:30 pm and 2:30 pm. He was amazing. He chased one gull up Sacramento Street, another down Front Street, two others to 101 California and one he made a direct hit on directly above the now vacant nesting tree. The crows circled the little ones' nesting shrubbery. The crows never had a chance. Before they saw Swoops, Swoops made two perfectly precise hits on one crow and then the other. The crows immediately fled. Swoops is working incredibly hard to keep Little Swoops and Swoopini safe. He looks exhausted. He is vigilant. Swipes comes and goes. The pigeons mull around. They present no danger at all. They actually seem oblivious to anything but the potential that a sandwich crumb might fall their way.

Little Swoops: From The Nest To The Workforce

2009-06-19T14:54:00.001-07:00

Hard economic times have reached the Swoops family. With all the noisy PG&E construction going on at Front Street and California, people just aren't coming by as much and dropping crumbs. Little Swoops spent most of his morning scanning the front of "Jobs & Careers." He appeared quite interested in a management position with a local bakery. He is no fool. He knows where his bread is buttered!

Man Hit Three Times For Putting Foot On Edge Of Planter

2009-06-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

It was reported this morning that a man rested his foot up on top of the planter where Little Swoops and Swoopini are now living. Swoops immediately reacted and made three direct hits in a row on the man's head. The crowd yelled "the babies are in the planter." The man was disinterested and walked away. Swoops followed him around the corner and hit him again. Lesson learned.

Obviously, More Of A Cat Person

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

AB Chronicle Staff witnessed a remarkable face off between Swoops and this peculiar lady who did not take well to our feathered friend's attentions. She apparently thought she could stare down Swoops from the edge of Swoops Ground Zero.

It did not end well for her.
(the crowd loved it).

Swoopini "Chirp...Chirp...Chirp..."

2009-06-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

"...Chirp...Chirp...Chirp...Chirp...Chirp..."

Warnings Of Various Sorts Now At Swoops Ground Zero

2009-06-18T16:50:00.001-07:00

Warnings are now posted at SGZ. AB Chronicle staff is uncertain as to the purpose of the Swoops look-a-like cut-out affixed to the tree directly next to Swoops' nesting tree (see below). Is this a tribute to Swoops, part of the warning or a clue to something we have yet to discover?

Photo Journal: The Babies Have Left The Nest

2009-06-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Swoops' nest has been abandoned. The babies are now taking up residence in the shrubbery across from City National Bank and exploring the area. For most of today, Little Swoops sat on
the sidewalk directly in front of the shrubbery planter. He looked frightened (PG&E is still overtaking the area with construction). After a while, Little Swoops took a walk down the street. A pigeon came to visit and Swipes followed to look over him. Swoops then came and fed him. Little Swoops tried and tried and could not get off the ground. Onlookers were concerned. Little Swoops took a running start and up he went a few inches off the ground. People encouraged him on. He tried once more and then took a break. He found a nice red doorway in which to rest. Swoops looked over him from atop some heavy machinery and Swipes looked on from a "No Parking" sign. Please no one open that door!!! Little Swoops' sibling ("Swoopini") spent most of the day in a lovely purple shrub. Swoopini chripped and chripped. She took to flight a couple times with great success always retuning to the purple shrub. Swoops and Swipes flew over the area keeping watch of the little ones. All seems to be
going well.

Woman Makes Trip From Orange County To Visit With Swoops

2009-06-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

A woman drove from Orange County this week solely to visit Swoops. She spent two afternoons at SGZ with the crowds and says she was very happy she made the trip.

Swoops v. California Department Of Transportation

2009-06-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

No contest. Helmets or no helmets. Swoops will win.

New Yorker States "Birds In Manhattan Are Not As Cool"

2009-06-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

A native New Yorker reported today that "none of the birds in Manhattan do anything this cool." AB Chronicle staff awaits comment from birds residing in Manhattan.

BREAKING NEWS: Blue Shirt Man Interferes While First Of Swoops' Babies Learns To Fly!

2009-06-17T16:25:00.001-07:00

It has been reported that the first of Swoops' babies ("Little Swoops") tested his wings for the first time this afternoon. About one hour ago, Little Swoops left the protection of the nesting tree and fluttered to the sidewalk. Swipes was there waiting. Swipes immediately commenced lessons on how to flap and fly. Little Swoops tried and tried. Two bald men walked by and Swoops made a direct attack on each. People screamed "get away." They ran. Little Swoops continued his struggle to learn. Swipes encouraged him. The crowd waited anxious and proud. Then a man in a blue shirt ("Blue Shirt Man") unwarrantedly intervened in the lesson. Unsure as to why, Blue Shirt Man drove Little Swoops into the street. The crowd erupted horrified. Cars were passing by. Blue Shirt Man then chased Little Swoops across the street. Why Blue Shirt Man?!?!? What are you doing?!?!? Blue Shirt Man then picked up Little Swoops and carried him back to the safety of the nesting tree and placed him in the nest. The tension of the crowd subsided. Swoops and Swipes made repeated hits on Blue Shirt Man. What are you doing Blue Shirt Man?!?!?! All are relieved the situation ended well.

Mysterious Pile Of Bird Seed Appears On Swoops' Curb

2009-06-17T14:10:00.001-07:00

A pile of bird seed appeared on the curb this morning at SGZ. It is not yet determined who left the pile or if Swoops has sampled the seed. We do know however that the pigeons are thrilled by its miraculous appearance. Suspicion has been raised that the benefactor is indeed the "woman that tosses 150 pounds of bird seed a day." (see link)

http://www.redorbit.com/news/oddities/476882/woman_tosses_150_pounds_of_bird_seed_a_day/

AB Chronicle staff is attempting to make contact with bird experts to learn if such seed is beneficial to Swoops and his little ones. Report to follow.

Construction Workers Disturb Onlookers

2009-06-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

Swoops onlookers were driven back to their offices by a bunch of rogue construction workers today. Chronicle staff requested earplugs from Upper Management. Swoops was unperturbed.

No data yet on rumored Financial District productivity increase.

Before And After, Part 1

2009-06-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Note very poor Swoops Avoidance Technique (see yesterday's post)

Before And After, Part 2

2009-06-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Follow Attack Bird Chronicles, Swoops And Report Global Bird Attacks On Twitter

2009-06-17T01:00:00.001-07:00

Follow Swoops, Attack Bird Chronicle staff reports and use the following twitter account to report on real time bird attacks from around the globe (pigeons in Paris, swans in Connecticut, magpies in Australia ...). AB Chronicle staff has been receiving and learning of many fantastical bird stories from around the world. This is just too good for not all to share ... tweet ... tweet ... tweet ...
http://twitter.com/AttackBirdChron
or you can email us your stories, comments, photos at frontstreetattackbird@gmail.com

Swipes Is Very Comfortable In The Spotlight!

2009-06-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Swoops newest companion, Swipes, seems very comfortable in the spotlight. It has been reported that Swipes has been attacking bystanders all morning. It is unclear if Swoops signaled for Swipes to come to his ledge to help manage the overwhelming media attention or if Swipes came of her own volition. Nonetheless, Swipes' attack numbers are strong. AB Chronicle staff is yet to determine if Swoops is indicating to Swipes which bystanders to hit or if Swipes is selecting targets on her own.

Swoops Avoidance Technique

2009-06-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

The pictured woman is displaying near flawless Swoops Avoidance Technique to the consternation of the Swooperatzi in the background:

1. Hug the wall.
2. Keep your head down.
3. Move along.

Follow the rules and nobody gets hit.

Attak Bukik Terrorizalja San Franciscot

2009-06-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

Swoops is very popular in the Hungarian news. AB Chronicle staff toasted with Unicum.

http://bulvar.ma.hu/tart/cikk/d/0/47689/1/bulvar/Videoval__Kopasz_pasikra_bukik_madar_terrorizalja_San_Franciscot
http://www.betegszoba.hu/utility.php?utility=print&r=1:3748&p=
http://www.rexinfo.hu/main/news_40277.html
http://www.betegszoba.hu/?r=3748
http://www.168ora.hu/punch/hitchcock-is-megirigyelne-madarterror-san-franciscoban-38033.html
http://www.hirsarok.hu/node/27856

The Happy Couple

2009-06-15T19:57:00.001-07:00

Double Trouble on Front Street today

Rio De Janiero: Os Ataques De Swoops Já Duram Semanas

2009-06-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

http://g1.globo.com/Noticias/Mundo/0,,MUL1195364-5602,00-PASSARO+ATACA+PEDESTRES+NA+CALIFORNIA.html

Attacks Continue At Church And Market Street

2009-06-15T15:03:00.001-07:00

Attacks continue to be reported at the Safeway grocery store at Church and Market Street in San Francisco.

Attacks have also been confirmed at Genetech's campus in South San Francisco. One employee reports "I have been hit six times." Might be time to cross to the other side of the street.

Swoops Helps Bystander Keep His Job

2009-06-15T14:48:00.001-07:00

A bystander reported that Swoops actually helped save his job. He explained that a few days ago he wanted "to hit his co-worker in the head." He refrained. During the lunch break the bystander walked his co-worker past SGZ. Swoops made a "direct hit" on the co-worker. The co-worker was stunned. The bystander was pleased. Swoops for hire?

Double Team!

2009-06-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

Reports have been flooding in that Mrs. Swoops has joined the Hit Parade on Front Street. This was confirmed today by AB Chronicle staff who witnessed several Husband/Wife dual hits.

The family that swoops together, stays together.

Paparazi Swoops on Swoops' Story

2009-06-15T08:00:00.001-07:00

Local newscasters, attempting to look interested in today's Feel Good piece. Next up: Seagulls invade AT&T park after baseball games!

Swoops' Little Ones Heard Chirping Happily

2009-06-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

There was a delightful sound this morning at SGZ. Swoops' little ones were chirping melodies from their nesting tree. Swoops was standing guard and looking pleased. AB Chronicle staff is very proud of Swoops and his little ones. Soon they will fly. We will miss them.

Giants 9-3 During Swoops' Reign

2009-06-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

Coincidence? Chronicle staff thinks not.
Bruce Bochy could not be reached for comment.

Giants' Fans Talk About Swoops During Game

2009-06-13T23:03:00.001-07:00

Conversation at tonight's San Francisco Giants' game turned from the Little Panda to Swoops after a seagull flew close above the crowd. One fan yelled "It's Swoops." Wrong. A bald fan stated "I have been hit twice by Swoops." Most likely true. A third commented that "there are 'Swoop' like attacks occurring around the trees at Civic Center." AB Chronicle staff to confirm. A fourth fan started to say something and then accidentally spilled his beer on his lap when he turned around to join in the conversation. He was embarrassed. His girlfriend handed him her beer and a napkin. Giants won 5-2.

Swoops Affecting Job Performance?

2009-06-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

A startling reduction of in employee productivity in Swoops-adjacent buildings has come to the attention of AB Chronicle staff.

"It's lunchtime" was the mantra of the crowds, but staff reporter HeavyC has routinely noted crowds gather as early as 10:30 AM in the Swoops Grandstands. Lunch cannot explain everything.

Swoops was not available for comment.

Pigeons Protest Lack of Exposure

2009-06-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

Pigeons gathered Friday afternoon to protest what they claim is biased reporting in favor of Swoops at their expense.

"We're birds and have nests too, you know. But no blogs, no interviews, no video shoots for CNN. I mean, the media is treating us like scavengers", said one protester.

Said another: "the bright lights cast on Swoops have not trickled down to us. Not one single bit."

The neglected ones

Old Time San Franciscan Says "This Is Nothing New"

2009-06-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

A 5th generation San Francisco man reported today that "those swoopers have been getting me for over 50 years." He stated that the attacks mostly occurr when he "walks his dog by the trees" at Sloat and Morningside Drive in the Sunset District of San Francisco. He added "I have yet to backdown to the 'swoopers' and will continue to walk my dog by the trees." I have my money on the birds.

Impressive Lunchtime Display

2009-06-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

Swoops charmed a large crowd today. AB Chronicle staff and others witnessed Swoops chase away an interloping Seagull, scoring a direct hit on said gull as far away as the 111 California Street atrium. A noble effort, truly. Also a smaller bird (possibly a starling) messed with the wrong bird and got pecked right off the block.

No pigeons have ever been reported to have been attacked.

Swoops on CNN

2009-06-12T00:22:00.001-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2009/06/09/vo.bird.attack.pedestrians.cnn
But not a single phone call from Jeanne Moos. What's up with that?

Swoops' Fame Carried To Asia

2009-06-11T23:34:00.001-07:00

http://tw.nextmedia.com/applenews/article/art_id/31702939/IssueID/20090612

"Sturzflieger" Makes The News In Austria

2009-06-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.salzburg.com/online/nachrichten/chronik/Vogelterror-wie-bei-Hitchcock.html?article=eGMmOI8V6ot9KAoYbsYQiF8hKKhrY9NTcajJHUA&img=&text=&mode=&

Swoops Wins Spot On Swiss Newscast

2009-06-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

A man living in Singapore reported that he first learned of Swoops from a newscast coming out of Switzerland.

Man Eating Potato Chips Hit Twice By Swoops

2009-06-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

A man eating a bag of potato chips stood staring at Swoops' nesting tree during today's lunch hour. The crowd across the street waited in anticipation. Swoops hit the man and then immediately hit him again. The crowd errupted. The man appeared confused. He ate another potato chip and moved on. Swoops retreated to his ledge.

Swoops Continues To Draw Crowds

2009-06-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

Crowds continue to gather throughout the day at the corner of Front Street and California. This little bird has captured our hearts.

The silver motorcycle is the one Swoops launched a double attack from earlier today (see below).

Double Attack from You Tube

2009-06-11T13:51:00.001-07:00

Never turn your back on Swoops:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZKu9LX2wfw&feature=related

Swoops Perched On Motorcycle Seat Attacks Two

2009-06-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

Swoops left his ledge this afternoon to sit on a nearby motorcycle seat. He rested on the motorcycle seat for a couple minutes. He took off from the seat and immediatly did a double hit on a woman walking past with brown hair. He turned and flew back toward the motorcycle and did a direct hit on a curly haired man. He flew out over the street and retreated to his ledge. The crowed cheered.

Pigeons Are Outraged, Forced From Sidewalks!

2009-06-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

It has been confirmed that the pigeons around SGZ are indeed outraged. This outrage comes after two pigeons narrowly escaped severe injury after they found themselves trapped under the feet of the cheering crowd. Pigeons have found safety on the ledges above Swoops.

Swoops Flies Across Street To Attack Blond Man

2009-06-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

Swoops reportedly flew across Front Street this morning to attack a man with blond hair that was staring at Swoops from the Swoops viewing area. It is uncertain why Swoops made the trip across the street and left his nesting tree unprotected. The blond man was both startled and confused. Why this blond man? Why now?

Swoops Appears On Anderson Cooper 360

2009-06-11T10:32:00.001-07:00

Swoops featured on Anderson Cooper 360 last night. National spotlight of Swoops continues to shine bright.

http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2009/06/11/ac.shot.wed.cnn

Swoops Infringement

2009-06-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

It has come to the attention of Staff Reporter C that Swoops name has been appropriated in a venture of questionable legality and taste:
http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?snack_code=1961

Whoever thought up this product should be sued on principle. Available lawyers please contact Chronicle Staff immediately.

Swoops Stalking for Victim

2009-06-10T21:59:00.001-07:00

These guys are not safe.
(Note reflection of the Author in the window)

Action Photos from Wednesday

2009-06-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

Breakfast Summit Photos

2009-06-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Much was discussed at yesterdays breakfast summit meeting over Tully's coffee and bran muffin crumbs - paparazzi, pressures of the spotlight, and the difficulties of feeding a growing family of chicks. I spoke, Swoops munched. It's hard work defending a nest.

News Vans Surround Swoops

2009-06-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

Four news vans are currently at Swoops Ground Zero ("SGZ"). Swoops seems anxious. Turn off the lights.

Swoops' International Fame Draws Lunchtime Mob

2009-06-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

Almost 100 people stood on the corner of Front Street and California at their lunch hour today staring at Citi National Bank. All were waiting for Swoops to attack some innocent passerby. Talk about pressure for the small guy. There were two or three attacks. Not the usual amount. The crowd roared and clapped. Some even did "concert" style whistles. Swoops did not seem himself today.

SWOOPS ATTACKS TWO SEAGULLS CLOSE TO NEST

2009-06-10T11:16:00.001-07:00

Swoops attacked two seagulls during the course of the morning that flew near his nesting tree. Bystanders were in disbelief. I am without words. Swoops wins for parent of the year.

Huffington Post Hails Swoops

2009-06-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

We just can't get enough!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/09/bird-in-san-francisco-sma_n_213550.html

Swoops Featured On CNN

2009-06-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

Swoops continues to win our hearts.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2009/06/09/vo.bird.attack.pedestrians.cnn

Swoops Hits Miami News "Despierta America" This Morning

2009-06-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

Swoops was reportedly featured on Despierta America (Univision from Miami) this morning. Swoops is dealing with his new-found fame quite well for being such a small bird.

Swoops Hops The Pond

2009-06-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

Swoops has been reported by BBC News. I just hope they pronounce his name correctly.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8092479.stm

Swoops Hits The Headlines On KCBS2

2009-06-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

http://cbs2.com/video/?id=105457@kcbs.dayport.com

Swoops Featured On KCBS 11:00 News

2009-06-09T23:20:00.000-07:00

Swoops was featured this evening on KCBS 11:00 news. He looked good on camera. Reporters confirmed that Swoops has not seriously harmed any passersby and that he prefers attacks on bald men.

Meatheads In Overalls Seek Attack By Swoops

2009-06-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

It has been reported that two meatheads in overalls purposely aggravated Swoops' nesting tree this afternoon wanting Swoops to attack them. This behavior is unacceptable (see below). Meatheads please go home.

Man Reports Swoops "Took A Chunk Out of Me"

2009-06-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

Swoops reportedly took a "chunk" out of a man this morning. The man states "[h]e took a chunk out of me this morning." The extent of the alleged "chunk" injury has not yet been confirmed.

http://www.yelp.com/topic/san-francisco-attacks-by-swoops-the-front-street-attack-bird-are-picking-up

Attacks Confirmed At Market Street Safeway

2009-06-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

Bird attacks were confirmed at Market St. Safeway by Attack Bird Chronicles staff yesterday evening. The birds were very active and exhibiting erratic behavior. Attacks were made. Staff members kept a safe distance and were not harmed.

Swoops to be named EVP at City National?

2009-06-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

A top executive at City National Bank says he is leaving his post, fueling talk of a Swoops-led takeover of the Front Street office:

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/jun/03/city-national-bank-exec-leaving-public-service/

Breakfast With Swoops

2009-06-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

Chronicle staff was happy to note that Swoops was up and active at 8:35 this morning, and particularly feisty owing to the crisp cool air, and the mounting stress of having to feed and clothe adolescent chicks. Anybody with a teenage daughter can feel for Swoops.

Paparazzi was also spotted in the area. Swoops had no comment for the press, but did give me an upbeat chirp after accepting a piece of my bran muffin.

Photos to follow.

Bald Men Hit Ten Times More Than Persons With Hair

2009-06-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

It has been confirmed. Swoops prefers to make attacks on bald men than persons with hair. Bald men are advised to wear a hat or other head covering when entering SGZ. We recommend against DPT standard issue headwear (see below).

Swoops Attacks Man In Suit

2009-06-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Swoops attacked a man in a suit today as he ran across Front Street away from Swoops. Swoops attacked the man under his ledge and then continued to dive bomb the man as he ran for safety across the street. The man pulled his suit jacket over his head and waved his arms. It appeared the man was trying to resemble a large predatory bird. Swoops did not buy it. Swoops hit the man three times in the street and once more on the sidewalk before he retreated to his ledge.

Swoops' Motivational Theory

2009-06-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

The official Swoops' Viewing Area was abuzz with Swoops Motivational Theory today. Here is a synopsys of what Attack Bird Chronicles Staff could glean from the masses

1. There is obviously a nest in one of those trees. This is Swoops Ground Zero. Do not enter SGZ.
1(a). Do not let anybody mess with the tree!
2. Bald men garner more attention from Swoops than most.
3. Walking between any of the trees is a recipe for disaster - you will get hit (possibly multiple times) until you get all the way across the street.
4. Using a cell phone in the vicinity of SGZ increases your chances of being hit.
5. Knowing that you might get hit definitely increases your chances of said hit. Swoops is watching, and he can smell your fear.

Second Strike On DPT Officer

2009-06-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

A female DPT officer on foot was hit by Swoops today during the lunch hour. The DPT officer was wearing a navy blue standard issue DPT baseball cap and carrying her ticket book when Swoops made a direct hit on her head. She brushed the top of her baseball cap and kept her focus forward. She (like the other DPT officer attacked last week) did not seem curious or aware of the assailant. Duty first!

Attack Bird Viewing Etiquette and Best Practices

2009-06-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

Chronicle staff couldn't be more pleased to see and meet Swoops' increasing flock of fans and followers. However, after an exhaustive staff meeting (over Lee's egg salad sandwich and Sun Chips), the need for Swoops Viewing Etiquette and Best Practices was addressed:

1. Don't stage "Hits" by messing with his tree (AKA Swoops Ground Zero) - Swoops has a quota, and staged hits DO NOT count towards this goal. If he doesn't make quota, he may get laid off and there just isn't much work for Attack Birds out there these days.

2. Never touch the baby chicks. Swoops' staff has been notified that the chicks will leave the nest soon, and may be seen on the ground near Swoops Ground Zero. Never touch them, as chicks handled by humans are often abandoned by the parents. The next generation of Swoops depends on you.

3. Never warn a potential target of the impending hit. This only makes it worse and more humiliating for the victim - let them suffer in peace. Plus it makes it harder for our feathered friend to make a clean Hit and renderes multiple hits all but impossible.

Thank you for your continued support.

Attack Bird Videotape

2009-06-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

An awesome multi-hit video:

http://tinyurl.com/qq392q

Blackbirds Attack at UCSD

2009-06-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

Blackbirds have recently attacked hundreds at UCSD's Price Center. The UCSD attacks are described as "identical to those of Swoops."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu9jg8zrZzI
http://www.ucsdguardian.org/focus/the-price-center-bird-1.1758011

Note: It has been reported that the zone of attack has expanded to outside the fountain area.

Swoops Atttacks A Man Named Mike

2009-06-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Video of Swoops attacking a man named Mike has been discovered on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47aWuLf7JgY

The Market "Watches" Swoops

2009-06-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.marketwatch.com/video/asset/when-blackbirds-attack/4A54021F-C196-49D7-A382-4A5917D0173F"

"bird is the word."

Swoops Gathers Crowd Of Over 50 On Corner

2009-06-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

12:52 pm: About 50 people gathered this afternoon at the corner of Front Street and California to watch Swoops attack the lunch time walkers. Attacks are down today. Swoops flew across Front Street and above the group on the corner. The crowd gasped. One member of the crowd commented "he is looking for new targets."

Man With Newspaper Tries To Out Wit Swoops

2009-06-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

A man was reported this afternoon walking with a newspaper on his head in an effort to avoid Swoops. The man scuried along peeking out from under the newspaper to monitor Swoops location. Swoops maintained his position on the ledge. No attack took place.

Rain Is Predicted. How Will Swoops Take It?

2009-06-05T12:31:00.001-07:00

It is not yet known if Swoops is aware of the buzz that we are in for possible rain or how he will react.

Swoops' Species Has Been Identified

2009-06-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Swoops has been identified as a Brewer's Blackbird. They are known to enjoy urban environments, cement sidewalks and shrubs.

Deputy District Attorney Attacked In Union Square

2009-06-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

A Deputy Distict Attorney was attacked by a bird yesterday afternoon directly in front of the Westin St. Francis while walking through Union Square. The Deputy District Attorney described the attack as a "direct hit." It has not been confirmed if this attack was the work of Swoops or if Swoops is building an army to expand his sphere of influence. The Deputy District Attorney has not yet decided whether to prosecute. Other attacks have been confirmed in the Outer Richmond and Castro districts over the last two days.

DPT Officer on Bike Attacked

2009-06-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

An attack by Swoops (aka: Front Street Attack Bird (FSAB)) was made on a DPT officer riding his bike on Front Street this morning. The DPT officer was pedaling along wearing the standard issue DPT black bike helmet and uniform. Swoops shot him a glance and then went in for a direct hit on the head of the unsuspecting DPT officer. Swoops landed on the plastic helmet, pecked and retreated. No reaction by the DPT officer. Swoops went in again for another peck on the DPT officer's head and again retreated. The DPT officer brushed his hand across the top of his helmet twice and paused. He stopped pedaling and let the bike coast as he looked to his right side. He did not see the bird. Swoops was already back on his ledge. The DPT officer then rode off the curb trying to look really cool and rugged. From across the street he did not look cool or rugged.